Sometimes a columnist must sacrifice himself for the good of the community, take a bullet to protect the troops or receive a slap to prevent the weakest from falling in battle.
So it’s done, folks. I stepped up front to save you from a sneak attack of gooey marshmallow and dripping feelings. This week, I gobbled up three of Netflix’s top five movies, which are new Christmas TV movies featuring fallen Hollywood actors (we can’t get away with this), widowed, hyper-emotional leads the night before December 25 (classic), as well like grandmothers too involved in the emotional universe of their orphaned grandchildren (of course).
Is about Christmas falls on time (falling in love with christmas) with Lindsay Lohan, noelle’s diary (the christmas diary) with Justin Hartley, aka twin Kevin in We areas much as’a christmas together (christmas with you) which once again spotlights Freddie Prinze Jr, a former favorite of teen movies like she has it all Y the pact of silence.
This dangerous mission has been marked by hilarious sweaters that light up in the dark, always empty Starbucks coffee cups, and terrifying snowstorms that lock the characters inside their super-decorated houses for three days.
This type of popular production, however, requires a different critical approach, adapted to the genre. In this cheesy and extra gratin world, people no longer talk about “good movie” or “excellent movie”, but about “best bad movie”. The nuance is important.
Because we 100% assume these cheap bluettes won’t crash the Oscars, come on. We just expect to spend 90 minutes with our brains in jelly, our feet in the beanbag, that’s it.
Of the three TV movies mentioned above, Lindsay Lohan’s, Christmas falls on time it turns out to be the least harmful and the most pleasant, let’s say it politely. Its title alone sums up the entire plot. Lindsay Lohan plays the rich heiress of a hotel chain (well, well), a spoiled, rotten, selfish and materialistic influencer to the max. At the top of a fancy Tremblant-like mountain belonging to her tycoon father, Paris Hilton from Utah falls on her skis (Christmas really falls!), plunges down a slope at high speed, hits a tree headfirst and he lands, it cannot be, on the trail of a charming family hotel with log-type furniture and colonial furniture.
But now, our urban aristocrat who dresses as a Christmas ball has lost his memory since his accident and no one is looking for him, oops! Lindsay Lohan, who navigates the film on autopilot, thus settles in the cozy country house, which belongs to an attractive widower on the verge of bankruptcy.
Important addition: The owner’s very hot little daughter on the verge of bankruptcy is waiting so badly for her dad to open his heart to love (insert sad piano here), which he hasn’t done since the tragic death of his wife, we are reminded 52 times. He brings out the mistletoe, the bells and, ta-dam, it’s Naël’s magic, to paraphrase Criquette Rockwell.
a christmas together (christmas with you), the second least lost of the three Netflix telefilms, is an urban story, which begins in the magnificent New York penthouse of a pop star American mexican. Our Latin singer spins cotton of very poor quality. Like, polyester. Her boyfriend, the protagonist of a soap opera, is dumb as a broom. And her record company threatens to drop her if she doesn’t write the next one. All I want for Christmas is you In three days. My God !
In an investment as improbable as impossible, the pop star bilingual knocks on the door of a 14-year-old fan who lives in the New York suburbs and whose father (it’s Freddie Prinze Jr!) teaches music at the local high school. Can you hear the beautiful music these strangers will make together while wearing red and white pajama pants?
Even lowering expectations in the second cellar of good faith, noelle’s diary (the christmas diary) is painful to watch. Here is Jake Turner (Justin Hartley, who always plays the same role), a famous big-city writer who has opted for celibacy, yes, yes, while all his readers are in love with him. A few days before Christmas, Jake, the reclusive novelist, returns to his hometown of Bridgeport, Connecticut, to empty out the house of his suddenly deceased mother. Jake no longer saw his mother, who had become a hoarder over the years. For 35 years, Jake no longer speaks to his father, who lives in seclusion in Vermont, where else? And Jake’s older brother died in 1987 in an accident involving a tree branch and a Christmas decoration that won’t make you cry.
Now a young translator enters the picture who believes that her birth mother was Jake’s babysitter in the 1980s. Boy, the setbacks! Together, Jake and the young translator will write a new chapter in their respective diaries, not without experiencing the horrors of the worst snowstorm of the century.
They are cold, they are hungry, they are almost naked. But Jake and the young translator are children of God and they have to love each other with a naive love, the fragility of velvety words!